Ode to System 4 by courtesy of Frank Skinner - author unknown

This poem turned up on site at Edinburgh Regional Computing Centre and many others, probably 1968 or 1969. Before I rediscovered it on Frank Skinner's website I had forgotten most of it.

We announced a new machine - System 4

It was nowhere to be seen - System 4

We had models made of wood

Which were very very good

We would build one if we could - System 4

You have heard of IBM - System 4

We're compatible with them - System 4

"It's all ours" the salesmen say

'Oh dear ! that'll be the day

It was pinched from RCA - System 4

Program training isn't tough on System 4

Seven years should be enough for System 4

The instructors are not slow

When the answers they don't know

They invent them as they go on System 4

You can have a disc or drum on System 4

But will software ever come for System 4 ?

Random access is a treat

And the way it works is neat

Like a man with two left feet - System 4

Now there's Algol and Fortran on System 4

And Cobol's an also-ran on System 4

Running Usercode and such

Our results don't come to much

For the output's Double-Dutch from System 4

You can time-share fifteen jobs on System 4

But be careful with the knobs on System 4

Or you'll find that in a trice

You've put six of 'em in twice

And the output won't be nice from System 4

Now the printer's doing fine on System 4

Though it hadn't worked on-line with System 4

When we send it TRAC and SEL

With some bits on DOUT as well

It just prints out "go to hell" - that's System 4

Just last week we tried Mag Tape on System 4

Thought we'd licked it into shape on System 4

Then we tried a simple WRITE

Both the servos locked up tight

And the tape shot out of sight of System 4

There are signals by the score in System 4

But we'll have to get lots more for System 4

'Cos in the Standard Interface

Signals vanish without trace

And they're tricky to replace in System 4

Leo's influence is there on System 4

Wiring looks like tangled hair on System 4

Since it's all joined up with glue

If you try to trace it through

It's the last thing that you'll do on System 4

All the new control units on System 4

Periodically have fits on System 4

When they can't think what to do

With the data coming through

They just broadcast WHO ARE YOU to System 4

Our new Discpack's full of shocks for System 4

It looks like a new Juke Box on System 4

Yesterday we got a fright

When we tried to read or write

It played "Strangers in the Night" to System 4

We have sold - oh!- thirty-six of System 4

But sales dropped off very quick of System 4

So to keep off hunger cramps

And avoid becoming tramps

We are giving Green Shield Stamps with System 4

Now we think that it's a bore - System 4

We don't want it any more - System 4

All the hardware's made of tin

And the Software won't read in

We shall blame it all on Jim - System 4

Oh we've had it up to here of System 4

It's been dragging on for years, has System 4

If we don't do more than shout

We will find without a doubt

ICT will buy us out - and System 4 How prophetic!

What is keeping us alive? System five

Oh God ! When will it arrive, System five

Let us kneel upon the floor

And Sir Gordon all implore

Please improve on System 4 - with System five.