by Josie Whitehead (www.whiteheadm.co.uk)
I know a man called Mr McCortney,
He's short and bald and going on forty.
He was lost in the middle of Orkney -
Poor old Mr McCortney-ortney.
I know a lady called Susie Woo
Who had a baby dressed in blue.
She dropped the baby in the stew,
Poor little Susie Woo-boo.
I know a girl called Caroline Porter.
Who dropped her teddy in the water.
He stayed there for a year and a quarter,
Poor little Caroline Porter-orta.
I know a boy called Benjamin Ruthers,
He was one of twenty-five brothers.
In Scotland there were twenty-five others,
Poor Mrs Jennifer Ruthers-futhers.
I know a girl called Millicent Pilkley,
She lived with her Mum in a town called Ilkley.
She had a friend called Jacqueline Filkley,
Poor young Millicent Pilkley-bilkley.
I know a man called Jonathan Hewitt -
He bought some steak but he couldn't chew it.
He broke his teeth before he knew it.
Poor old Jonathan Hewitt-bluett.
There's no more stories for today.
Tomorrow is another day.
Now go to sleep or go to play
All you silly children!!
Copyright 1997